Covid: what's changing?

With lockdown easing from today, I, for one, am very lost trying to figure out what I can do, with whom, and when - never mind considering when I can attend events! So, let’s run through the upcoming covid-related milestones, if not for your benefit, then definitely for mine. Please bear with me and my attempts to translate/make sense of the government's increasingly confusing choice of words.

From today (29th March):

We can meet outdoors in either a group of six (including yourself, don’t be greedy) from any amount of households, or in a group of any size consisting of a maximum of two households (if you’ve formed a support bubble with another household, you + them = one household).
Outdoor sports venues and facilities have reopened, and we can take part in “formally organised outdoor sports with any number of people.” Sounds oh-so-thrilling, doesn’t it?!
Formally organised parent/child groups can take place outside, with a maximum number of 15 people (children under 5 not included in this number - infants can party to their hearts desire).
On this note, childcare and supervised activities will be outdoors for all children.

From 12th April (hopefully):

Welcome back non-essential retail, salons, libraries and community centres! Along with this, gyms will reopen, as will most outdoor attractions (we’re talking zoos, we’re talking theme-parks and, lest we forget, outdoor cinemas). If you’re an outdoorsy folk (couldn’t be me), 12th April will also see campsites and holiday lets make a comeback (provided toilets etc. aren’t shared between households).
I’m sure this is the only thing everyone is aware of, but we’ll also say “hiya!” to eating and drinking in the horrendous British weather come mid-April, with hospitality venues able to serve people outdoors. The plot certainly thickens, though, as this time there’s no “substantial meal (scotch egg, anyone?)” and no curfew, but table-service remains mandatory.
Not sure why this has been dubbed “events” by the government, but funerals will be able to continue with up to 30 attendees and those at weddings, receptions, and “commemorative events” will rise to 15.

From 17th May:

Most legal restrictions on meeting people outdoors will be lifted (with gatherings of 30+ people still vibing in the illegal zone) as well as implementing the rule of six or a two household maximum when socialising indoors.
In true dystopian fashion, the government are considering letting us hug our friends at this point.🥺 Please, Boris.
Pints in the pub instead of outside! Table service will still be stealing the spotlight, though.
Other indoor locations will also be coming out of hiding, including: cinemas; children’s play areas; hotels/hostels/B&B’s; indoor adult group sports and exercise classes.
Most importantly, we’re going to be blessed with larger performances and sporting events indoors, again! Although it’s with a 1,000 or half-full capacity (whichever number is lower), we will certainly take what we can get. We’ll also be able to attend larger outdoor seated venues, on the basis that crowds will be limited to 10,000 people or where the venue is quarter-full.
Weddings, receptions, wakes, funerals, and other “life events” will be able to host a maximum of 30 attendees.

From 21st June:

Prepare yourself, fellas… 21st June marks the government's intended removal of all legal limits on social contact!
This also means nightclubs will be out to play again, and restrictions on large events and performances will be lifted, too. Hiya festival season 2021! This is dependent on some pre-Summer trials from the Events Research Programme, but we’re remaining hopeful regardless.